Chandni Chowk to China Movie Review – Blah!

Meow Meow?

Damn these paid previews. What they have done is changed the first day first show from Friday morning to Thursday and i suffered yesterday on account of that. I was never a fan of paid previews as i had a certain attachment to Friday. But now that people watch a movie on Thursday itself the novelty factor is gone by Friday.

This is what happened to me for the much anticipated Chandni Chowk To China. A couple of friends saw the movie day before yesterday and trashed it. So even though i knew it was gonna be bad i had no choice but to go for it as i had bought the tickets on Tuesday itself. And just when i thought it couldn’t get any worse my brother who also saw the movie with his friends on yesterday morning trashed it too and big time.

The feeling of walking towards your death is something i really don’t know how to describe. I knew i was gonna hate it, but i was also thinking that going with such a low expectation would be a good idea as i wouldn’t be as disappointed as the others. Oh how wrong i was!

I reached the theatre on time but was surprised to see a very moderate crowd, no where near a house full. So i think to myself  “maybe other people  also heard that the movie was bad and they were lucky enough (sensible enough, according to my mother who also suffered on my account) not to have bought the tickets already.

So now lets get to the painful part. Believe me i tried really hard to like the movie but the constant sarcastic claps from the audience didn’t really support the cause. Whether it was the stupid knife proof, bulletproof, parachute umbrella or the new i-pods used as  some stupid language  translators, the audience never left an opportunity go by to clap and applause the sheer stupidity of the film.

It was so unbelievable to see the sheer lack of seriousness  that was clearly visible even in the intense scenes. Nikhil advani thought that if he uses all the formulae from Kung Fu to Parathe wali Gali and from a sacred warrior to Sita aur Gita he will have a hit, he couldn’t have been more wrong. And what the hell is Akshay doing? whats wrong with our self made man. I mean i am fed up of him taking his audience for granted all the time. He has seriously lost it. I was one of the people who laughed his head off on his stupid jokes but enough is enough. AK if you are listening, its time to re-invent yourself.

The only person who made the right decision by opting to do this film was Deepika. She got to do something that she wouldn’t have in any other film, kick some serious ass and be called Meow Meow(seriously) . There wasn’t much of acting but the action that she did is the best i have ever scene done by a lead actress in Bollywood.

That is about the only positive thing i can say. Music? well lets just say that i was lucky as all songs were not present in full length otherwise i wouldn’t have made it out alive. None of the songs made sense and were forced into the film (actually the entire film itself was kinda forced).

Oh yes i got another positive point. Phew!! thank god coz i was thinking that i will be getting howlers for not even having two positive points for the film( I mean one positive point per half is the least i can do). Yeah so the action, It was over the top, exaggerated,  unrealistic(I mean its not Shaolin Soccer, so what was that Cosmic Kick all about?) and really boring to say the least, even in the climax. Oh shit, I am sure in my head it sounded positive. I guess i was thinking about the Gordon Liu movie which he wont be embarrassed about.